Death – nature’s way of balance. I sometimes wonder why people so strongly believe it to be a bad thing. Yes, of course the separation from loved ones and the unfulfilled dreams are big fat spoilers; but isn't anyone even a teeny bit curious to find out what’d really happen to us after death? I, for one, have never been afraid of death. Always curious, never afraid. Sad? Yes, leaving all my loved ones one day…even the thought of it is mighty crushing but I have known life…every time something bad happens, there’s that little red door in the haze that opens to new things…things that blooms in us the fruition that ‘everything happens for a reason…everything happens for good.’ I’d like to believe that. Not that I believe in rebirth or anything. Well I can’t believe in something that I am not sure of. But I’d like to explore, to feel, to be there instead of being terrified of it.
I
remember the school days, when my best friend and I were just two over
enthusiastic kids sitting on a wooden bench and brainstorming…trying to crack
science, space and life. The childish innocence in us back then proved to be a
catalyst to our quest for logic in the unknown. I remember him asking me one
question in particular – ‘Are you afraid of death?’ Pat went my reply ‘No.’ He couldn't comprehend it. He asked a couple of perplexed questions and I went onto explain
my answer passionately. I said, ‘When we were in our mothers' wombs, we might
have been afraid to come out. We must have thought of the womb as our world and
that there’s nothing beyond. But then we came out and found out that the world
is bigger and life is beautiful. Now we are about to go through another such phase
– death. Who is to say that it is the end of life? We don’t know what is in
store for us after we stop breathing. I am curious and that is why I am not
afraid.’ The fear of the unknown…that was what I was trying to explain several
years ago bobbing my pigtail vehemently. Why should we fear the inevitable? It
makes no sense to me.
I
questioned a couple of friends shooting hypothetical makeshift circumstances involving
death…like what’d you do today if you knew that there’s no tomorrow…stuff like
that. Almost all of them answered with positive things…what they’d do with
their family, with their friends, their lovers…except for one friend. I
consider him my algebraic friend. Always practical, always considerate. He said,
‘I don’t believe in such questions. It’s hypothetical and impossible to
imagine.’ But I urged him on. Then he says, ‘Today I haven’t become the CEO,
haven’t played with my future daughter. I haven’t made my parents proud yet. If
I die today, I will be terribly annoyed.’ No, he isn't being pessimistic. He is
just being logical. I respect people who share this perception but I don’t agree
with them. I believe none of us are perfect. We all have our share of mistakes
and there’ll always be “something you should have done” each moment. It doesn't matter if you die today or 40 years later, you’ll always have a list of things that you could’ve and should’ve done. Everybody hasn't done a lot of things. Like, I
have this huge list of dreams! I've fulfilled some and many are still out
there. But that doesn't mean that I’ll hold onto life like I have created it or owned it. I can go down gracefully even today. I know that living each day like
it is the last looks doable only in books and movies…but I prefer doing it
every time I am aware of it rather than getting frustrated if my heart chooses
to stop tonight. Oh but I too have a list of awesome stuff to do with my loved
ones if I knew I were to die tonight but I don’t care if at the end I’d just
diffuse into thin air because I am just a form of energy. I don’t care for it
because if that happens, then I am sure my bunch of atoms wouldn't feel that. But
if there sure is something exciting worth dying for, then I don’t wanna be
spending this life worrying about it. The point is, don’t stop dreaming and don’t
ever stop trying to explore the unknown. And most importantly, don’t have
regrets. After all, we are only human.
